Friday, July 1, 2011

What I Have Learned from Black Betty

Black Betty and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We have had our highs and lows, but through it all I love her all the same. I never fathomed before starting my natural journey that my hair could teach me anything, but just like all of the other relationships in my life, I have learned a great deal from my partner.  Here are few things I have learned.

  • Something about natural hair leads people to believe that I am a part of a petting zoo.  Family and best friends always get passes for touching my hair, but I never knew associates, coworkers, and complete strangers felt entitled to feel up on Black Betty with or without my permission.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
  • It's a little kinky, and they like it.  Before my Big Chop, I assumed that the unwanted attention I received from males would at least come to a minimum.  It was a factor that I had actually looked forward to because I hate getting hit on to begin with, and it became even more annoying when I became a wife.  Unfortunately, Baby Black Betty didn't keep the fellows away, but she did seem to command respect.  The men have been calmer and more courteous in their approach since I've been natural, but they still have to get shut down (kindly).                                                                                                                                   

  •  Even after having straight hair for most of life, my loved ones forgot that I knew how use a flat iron .   My mommy always tells me that I can't assume that everyone knows the things I know just because it's common knowledge to me, and she is absolutely right.  I always knew that natural could be straighten by the use of heat, always.  Since I've been natural I've had a lot of friends inform me that I can still straighten my hair if I want to by using a flat iron like they learned the information yesterday. Does anyone remember press and curls other than me?   And yes, I still know how to plug in a flat iron if I ever have the desire to use it.
  •  Time management can be improved by having dense coily hair.  I have had to get up or stay up until the wee hours in the morning to style my hair before going out in public.  I also only schedule important hair care events on my days off.  Yes, I block off whole days to do my hair because it saves time later and frustration instantly.  Besides that Black Betty deserves to be pampered.
  •  Bad hair days are in the eye of the beholders.  On the days when I don't allot enough time for majestic hair styling to place like when I choose to cuddle with T instead twisting and curling, I have to make it work.  I give myself thirty minutes or less to come up with some sorry excuse for a style.  I often am not completely happy with style, but I always love my hair.  Unlike some, I accept bad hair days.  They aren't my favorite, but I don't allow them to shame me into devastation.  On those days I spend the least amount of time and effort doing my hair.  Those are the day I get the bulk of compliments.  "Your hair is so gorgeous.".....Today?  Really? Uhhhh..Thanks.

  • Saying the least, does the most.  Some family members and friends became really combative when I let BB grow.  Who knew the hair growing from my scalp could cause other people to be so enraged?  The best responses to rude remarks are silence and simple statements like "I like my hair the way it is."  Ultimately I knew that no one would volunteer to come to my house and care for my hair every day, so the opinion with weight was and is mine. :)

  • People will put insults in interrogative form to seem harmless.  "So, do you actually like your hair looking like that?"  No, I just keep it like this because I've forgotten how to flat iron it. Yes, I like it.   I know that when people ask me in certain tones about how I feel about Black Betty that they are projecting their distaste for her.  Anyone who knows me knows that I will not continue to do what I don't like.  The very fact that they would ask me those  kinds of questions knowing my personality is a slap in the face.  I would rather have honesty than stupid questions.  Just say you don't like it, gosh.








What has your hair taught you?